Phyc. Evaul

okay so this morning at 11. i had to go in to get a phyic evaul.

Let me tell you how i felt about this.....

Before....


I was feeling vulnerable, scared, nervous, self-concious, open wound, deffinately not wanting to take it.

After....

I was actually fine! The doctor (Dr. Froyd) was pretty cool. At first i didnt like him only cause he was doing his job, and ijust didnt want to be there. But i warmed up to him. At first it seemed like he was just asking the questions and getting the answers out of me. But then he told me im not trying to get you in touble, i want to help you. Then i think that is when i started to losen up a little. So i told him pretty much everything that happened to me and the poor guy cried with me. which showed me that he has empathy toward me and isnt JUST a doctor that is JUST doing his job. That made me trust him a little easier, knowing that he cares.

What he told me....

*I dont want to get you in trouble i just want to help you
* I dont know how you went through birth all by yourself...i was in the room with my wife while she had our two kids and that was scary enough..even with people around who know what they are doing
*I see a girl who was alone and went through a very very huge tragedy. it breakes my heart to see that you went through this
*I AM on your side, and i am going to recmond to the court that you not go to y.o.s but are off with probation and that your anti depressant meds be upped...


This all made me feel good. and that even doctors that dont even know me care. so after the whole meeting i was feeling better and i hope that the court will take in to consideration what he has to say. it just makes me realize how many people are on my side. thank you to EVERY single one one of you! i think support makes all the difference in the world!!!!

I got motivation from somewhere...

So today...I got this weird motivation to actually sit down for 4 hours and do my school stuff...Somehow i just didnt feel like being lazy any more and to do something good for myself.

im behind in school but i am going to work twice as hard now...NOTHING is in my way!! i am going to graduate High school...for ME...to show people that i CAN do it!! i DO NOT need my mom to be there!! i am growing and matureing and everything that teenagers do with out my mom!

I am PROUD of myself!!!